we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
