Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
