if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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