it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
