I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
