I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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