would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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