i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
