He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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