i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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