on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
