I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
