so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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