I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
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Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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