I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
