I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You smell like a Billy Joel song
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
