Your face is a jimmy john
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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