Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize