thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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