He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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