forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
