Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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