i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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