Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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