weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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