I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
