god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
