can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
