how do flat chested girls get laid?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
