Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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