Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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