fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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