he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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