btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
