When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Panties = found
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