If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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