i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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