i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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