Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
