Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just want nice things and good sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
