8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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