its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
