it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
