just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
