So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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