I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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