There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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