Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
