What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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