Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
