She's JV to your varsity
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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