So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
