I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
only you would photoshop your dick
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
