Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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