I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
