My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
