What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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